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The first Ten Commandments are the hardest.
People who are wrapped up in themselves are overdressed. An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame. If you solved the NY Times' Saturday crossword puzzle, you probably cheated. A word of advice... don't give it. If we made it illegal, do you think more people would vote? I am logged in... therefore, I am. A journey of a hundred miles starts with an argument over how to load the car. Justice is blind and in some cases... deaf and dumb. To belittle is to be little. When fear knocks at the door, and you answer, there will be no one there. Poverty is a condition with but one advantage, it doesn't take much to improve your lot. The first rule of tinkering is to save all the parts. I'm retiring in Mexico. Sunny, affordable and no predatory reverse mortgages. A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. Once you pass 40, your "big break" will probably be a bone. Politics isn't about hunger or taxes or equality... it's about politics. Management's job is to keep 'em too busy to look for other jobs. Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other. Why are lawyers not sworn to tell the truth like all the witnesses in a jury trial? Received from Joke du Jour.
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From BBe41414
Women's Marriage Seminar - A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their hands. - Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?" Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember. The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart." - Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with another woman and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message. - Below are hilarious 12 replies. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love... Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way? 1. Who is this? 2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what? 3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's wrong? 4. What now? Did you wreck the car again? 5. I don't understand what you mean? 6. What did you do now? 8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need? 9. Am I dreaming? 10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die. 11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day. 12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she? Kinda tugs at the heart, doesn't it?! copyright Hedge Line News
Just hear those car bells beeping It’s time for traffic to move…. Come on it’s time for shopping For Christmas presents and food. Outside the weather’s modified Which won’t be on the news…. Pretend it’s lovely weather And we’ll pray for better priced food… Prices up, Prices up, Prices up, Oh my, inflation has grown…. I think that President Biden must not know. It was free, it was free, it was free, they said, for all of our care, Even if we fund 2 wars And bring immigrants in to spare! Our cheeks are frosty frozy Because we don’t have warm air, The governments are punishing Those who use more than their share. We know the cold before us Is just a way to prepare, For when the rich guys close on us Homes, and mortgage shares. There’s an LGBT party and a “Q” parade They are hinting JFK still lives , Like Lincoln, Abe There’s a brand new rocket developed by Stargate’s Elon Musk, To put people on a planet made of oxide dust! Cough cough cough! The SEC regs make it hard for crypto buys, Pretty soon though we’ll see XRP go up, sky high! Because that’s what the experts have said on alternative news, We were waiting for them to tell us what to do! Because the economy’s growing At least their saying it’s true, This year we have no worries, Aside from truthers like you, But soon the net will censor them Along with all their fake news, At least that’s what the order says That wants to make everything New. The Wit and Wisdom of Will Rogers
I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened. You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is. Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you. Work to make a living; serve to make a life. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds. If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh. Parent 1:
"My son is not so good at spelling and today he finally did some writing, via typing on the computer...and says 'Sorry but I didn't know how to turn off autospell.' Oh well... my failure to properly teach him how to spell is safely hidden." Parent 2: "Pretty soon we won't be able to write, navigate, or calculate without a computer." Father Cave Man: "Pretty soon we won't be able to slay a pig, people will just go buy them at grocery stores." Dave Berry Quotes
Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege. If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. Each year, millions of skiers come to Colorado to experience its superb emergency medical facilities. It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta. The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear safety glasses. You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa. With Biden as our President, we are not only suffering from rooms to go to the Chinese, we are experiencing the handiwork of businesses to go, housing to go, and manufacturing to go, and the overall way of life to go as Americans work harder and harder to achieve a living. This ad from roomstogo.com couldn't have said it better. They are accurately stating that this Memorial weekend is "the Last Days." The book of Revelations has predicted this would happen for centuries. We are glad to see our nationwide furniture company hit the nail on the head.  |
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