The Wit and Wisdom of Will Rogers
I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.
You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
Work to make a living; serve to make a life.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there
When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
"My son is not so good at spelling and today he finally did some writing, via typing on the computer...and says 'Sorry but I didn't know how to turn off autospell.' Oh well... my failure to properly teach him how to spell is safely hidden."
"Pretty soon we won't be able to write, navigate, or calculate without a computer."
Father Cave Man:
"Pretty soon we won't be able to slay a pig, people will just go buy them at grocery stores."
Dave Berry Quotes
Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.
Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.
If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
Each year, millions of skiers come to Colorado to experience its superb emergency medical facilities.
It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.
The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear safety glasses.
You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.